Since Dick had hired me, he tended to point out things I could improve on, yet failed to acknowledge the good. The first time that Dick said hello to me I was in disbelief - Dick usually saved the "hellos" for those who have the highest sales i.e. his favorites or so it appeared that way (has anyone else ever felt that before?)
When in the back of the kitchen, Dick commented how I "Come into work with a good attitude every day, have great people skills, and am a team player" (having helped out when needed and having made few mistakes). I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
After reaching the front of the kitchen, also where the dining room began, Dick continued to say that I had, “Improved since training.” With a big smile and projecting voice (for all to hear) Dick finished with, “But remember when you used to suck?”
Not sure how to react or why he would bring that up, I was frozen with embarrassment. Resisting further humiliation, I fought my reddening cheeks and mustered up the only positive comment I could think of.
Over the snickering comments and glances, I proudly yelled, "I knew I would prove it to you, all you needed was a little faith!" We went our separate ways and the conversation was over.
Whether or not Dick was right or wrong for saying what he said, as a communication major, I have learned that "but's" have an canceling effect. Everything said prior to the "but" is ignored because the reader is naturally focused on the deconstructive information.
http://dumbbellsanddragons.com/eliminate-buts-from-your-vocabulary/
I, on the other hand, chose to embrace the but.
Language is a powerful tool that can be used for good or for bad. If we choose to use our "buts," they can linger and make things stinky.
So reader, I challenge you to eliminate "buts" while communicating feedback. Who knows, you might think it is hard, but...isn't it worth trying?
No comments:
Post a Comment