The Tipping Point

The city where I work is full of diversity; to me, it’s a perk of serving at the restaurant. And I believe it is important to be able to communicate and work effectively with others.

However, problems can arise when the different cultures ideals do not match up.

I remember the first time I was ever sat with an Indonesian family. I introduced myself and get the drinks. The family ordered many items off the menu. 

Naturally I became excited because I knew the bill was going to be higher than the average. Because of the expenses, I went out of my way to help the table and to make the night special.

When it came time for the bill, I dropped it off and wished to them a great night.

Once, they left I walked to the table to clear it off. I opened the check.

Amount: $93.75 Tip: $3.12

I wondered to myself, did I offend them? Did I neglect them? I walked into the kitchen to complain to a coworker. She said that’s just how they are.

Sure enough, as I handled more and more tables, I learned how people’s cultural background affects how they view tipping and servers.

I felt torn because I understand why they tip small, but at the same time, tips are how I make money.

Differences in tipping are seen through all cultures. This issue is occurs nation-wide and is a part of a bigger issue. 
http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/01/21/whats-behind-racial-differences-in-restaurant-tipping/

How can we address this issue? How can we let people respect their culture, while creating awareness of Northern American traditions of tipping?

Helping Hands

I am a college student who lives at home and commutes to school. And with this situation, there are many advantages and disadvantages. Not having moved out yet, I feel that I am  divided from the rest of my coworkers – the majority who live in the city with their own apartments.

I rarely get invited to many outings or gatherings because I live in the country, far away from downtown. Because of this separation, I am looked upon  and treated differently than others.

For example, a few weeks ago I was finishing up my shift, about to be cut when I was sat with a table of 3. I was tired and wanted to leave.

I asked several people to take the table but no one would. My last hope was a closer named Veronica. She refused to take the table, even though I offered to compensate for taking the table.

After refusing to take them, I was upset. I pulled her aside to mention how I have helped her out in the past  and pointed out that I had assisted her earlier in the night.

She claimed that helping each other, “is what everyone does.”  I found her response ironic because she was doing the opposite. I then understood changing her mind would be near impossible. An hour and a half later of waiting on one table, I finally was able to go home.

Maybe Veronica was jealous, maybe not, but if anyone else asked her to take the table, she would have gladly done it - I have seen this first hand. That is why originally I was so upset.

A few days later, Veronica was extra nice;she realized how silly she was acting. Though her attitude was pleasant, much time and effort would have been saved if she would have just taken my table the previous night - maybe our  relationship might have even grown.

Today, the majority of people are only willing to help when it benefits themselves. Helping others is something that is lacking in today’s general workforce, even though it is easy to do. With a little effort, the smallest actions can make the biggest difference.

Whether you are friends with someone or not, lending a helping hand others makes the shift go smoother and it makes everyone happier.

So try it out and take the pledge to support those around you. Please comment if you see any differences in your day after helping someone and or if you have notice similar trends.

http://stress.about.com/od/positiveattitude/qt/helping.htm

No More Buts!

Since Dick had hired me, he tended to point out things I could improve on, yet failed to acknowledge the good. The first time that Dick said hello to me I was in disbelief - Dick usually saved the "hellos" for those who have the highest sales i.e. his favorites or so it appeared that way (has anyone else ever felt that before?)

When in the back of the kitchen, Dick commented how I "Come into work with a good attitude every day, have great people skills, and am a team player" (having helped out when needed and having made few mistakes). I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

After reaching the front of the kitchen, also where the dining room began, Dick continued to say that I had, “Improved since training.” With a big smile and projecting voice (for all to hear) Dick finished with, “But remember when you used to suck?”

Not sure how to react or why he would bring that up, I was frozen with embarrassment. Resisting further humiliation, I fought my reddening cheeks and mustered up the only positive comment I could think of.

Over the snickering comments and glances, I proudly yelled, "I knew I would prove it to you, all you needed was a little faith!" We went our separate ways and the conversation was over.

Whether or not Dick was right or wrong for saying what he said, as a communication major, I have learned that "but's" have an canceling effect. Everything said prior to the "but" is ignored because the reader is naturally focused on the deconstructive information.
http://dumbbellsanddragons.com/eliminate-buts-from-your-vocabulary/

I, on the other hand, chose to embrace the but.

Language is a powerful tool that can be used for good or for bad. If we choose to use our "buts," they can linger and make things stinky.

So reader, I challenge you to eliminate "buts" while communicating feedback. Who knows, you might think it is hard, but...isn't it worth trying?

Some tables are worth waiting on

It was a hectic morning at the restaurant. I had already broken out in a sweat, making me feel gross, quickly shaping my decreasing negative mood. With sore muscles and a tired attitude, all I could think about was getting out of that hell hole. I kept thinking how awful my job is when I was sat with another large table of 5.

“Ugh,” I thought to myself. My manager passes me and says, “Make sure to treat them specially.”

I quickly glanced at the table, instantly knowing that they were going to require much attention because this group was far from the normal. They were from the Make a Wish Foundation.

I was greeted by an extremely friendly lady who introduced me to the family and informed me of the little girl’s wish: A granted 2,000 dollar shopping spree at the mall. At first I was blown away by the amount she was able to spend. Jealousy soon followed at the thought of all the work it would take to make that much money. I smiled and tried to keep my calm composure.

The family – mom, dad and the daughter – practically ordered everything off the menu, being my most needy customers of the day. You know, the kind that raise their hand or yell, trying to get your attention to ask you for something, oblivious to the other tables that you are talking to. http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/servers-servants-31-things-waiter-wish-knew/632737/

Being as sincere as possible, I hoped my true feelings were not seeping through the cracks of my teeth while I smiled.

A few coworkers and I were asked to sign a card for the girl as a gift. I wrote a message yet couldn't help to think, how can I be helping this little girl? She doesn'tf even know me and we are unable to relate to due her illness. Confused, and curious, I returned the card to the Make a Wish lady.

After paying for her meal, the lady slipped me two twenties. She said, “I know how it is serving, I did it for many years, thanks for all you did today.”

After all those emotions of jealously, confusion, irritability I became aware that good things come to those who wait. I felt happy because that was a big tip for me, but I also felt like I did not deserve such a tip. I felt guilty for acting like a child and not looking at the big picture.

I think there’s many times in which we all wish for something, but in reality know it probably won’t happen to us. As we get older, our hope dwindles, our self-centeredness increases and we become hardened.

So here is my question to all the readers: how do we stop the hardening in a world that is not always fair?  How can we continuously be humble, forgiving and understanding, even when our reactions tell us differently?  

Glimpses

A few weekends ago, I waited on an odd couple. They interacted as if they had never met each other before. The female answered short, yet frequent phone calls – an act normally considered rude while out to eat.

As I approached the table, I tried to refrain from judgments.  I introduced myself...one, two, three seconds passed. The silence felt like an eternity, giving the table an extremely uncomfortable vibe heightening my senses.

Eventually, the elderly Caucasian, lazy eyed male looked up and straight into my soul. Though I was relieved that one of them broke the silence, my churning gut told me to run away and not look back.
http://thoughtcatalog.com/erin-cossetta/2013/12/33-servers-spill-their-unbelievable-customer-horror-stories-heres-why-they-deserve-good-tips/ (stories #2 &15).
 

Have you ever wished you had never looked into someone's eyes? It was defiantly one of those times because all I could see was the pain and suffering he had gone through.
 
This man was the poster child of the murderer from Lovely Bones: his thinned, combed over hair attempted to cover his bald spot; his crooked smile and bushy eye brows enhanced the dark circles under his eyes; his outdated brown 70’s suit and thick tie stated that he hasn't been out recently.

As a women, my intuition told me to keep my guard up.

The African-American female wore a red see through shirt. Her black push up, lace bra seemed to coordinate with her chest tattoo. It was not the short hot pink hair cut or the piercings that gave her away – it was her eyes: she was an escort.

I couldn't help but wonder where this girl’s mother was. Desperate to do something, I told my manager about the situation. He stopped by to do one of his check in’s with the customers.

After speaking with the table, my manager disclosed that the male customer seemed like he wanted to skin my manager and wear him as an outfit. I had never been more terrified of serving a table in my life.

Fighting the fear, I was also upset. I kept thinking about how one can become so lost in the world? These two characters could not have been more lost, together.

That’s the thing about serving, you get glimpses into people’s lives and sometimes those lives aren't so pretty as we tend to think. Though I may feel my chaos in the restaurant will never end, it is only a moment and it too shall pass - unlike those who are constantly in pain.

 I am grateful for the peaceful and free life that I choose to live . I am happy that I am able to go home to loving parents after a long, intense shift.

And now I leave it up to you reader. What and who are you thankful for?